I've been thinking a lot about the concept of courtship over the past few days. Even using the word 'courtship' is wildly old-fashioned - and I'm actually a bit horrified at myself because the first word that popped into my head whilst trying to think of a more modern way of wording it was 'shaggin'. I'm blaming my apparent filthy mind on the fact I'm living with four boys at the moment; I live in hope that the images of flowers, love hearts and puppy dogs that usually occupy my little blond head will soon return.
Living with four boys is what has triggered these thoughts about how girls and boys interact before they decide to jump into any form of commitment. Personally, I'm a lot more uneasy about this stage of affairs than I used to be. I remember being more than up for playing the usual games (that I believe were once used as legitimate forms of mental torture) but I've learnt that how people can appear when you first meet them can be scarily different to what they become. I am therefore much more appreciative of people who are upfront from the beginning - although the thrill of the chase is a hard thing to find un-enjoyable. The chase is what a relationship stems from; it's this ritual that defines a couple's chemistry from the offset. And if the excitement you experience when you first realise that you actually quite fancy someone lasts beyond those crucial first two weeks, you know in yourself that your feelings are on a higher plane than just 'shaggin'.
The lead up to that point is just brutal though, isn't it? 'So he texted me last, so that makes it OK for me to text him now. But if I text him, he texts back, I text him back and then I don't get a reply, then it's definitely not OK to text him for at least another 48 hours and that's only if there's a full moon and a golden leprechaun visits me in my dreams and gives me a sign"...and the sad thing is that I find the majority of that sentence rational. And guys are just as bad; 'Well she never asked me a question or anything, and I've got football, a night out and a Tesco big shop to do...I'm sure she won't mind no contact for a few days'. Whats nice is that girls and boys are starting to understand each others mentalities more and more...and because of this I am sorry to say that in the crazy stakes, girls clean up.
Despite this, no matter on the sex of the person, I like to think that this 'craziness' signifies passion and a desire to succeed in all aspects of life. I think that when they issue people with restraining orders they should also enrol them in some sort of entrepreneurial work shop - no doubt they would flourish! Modern courtship is nothing more than a tidal wave of insecurities from both parties - and I wouldn't have it other way. I enjoy wondering why he hasn't texted me, I enjoy waiting for him to speak to me first and I enjoy going out and sinking a bottle of wine when the whole thing blows up in my face. And while boys and girls consistently profess they hate the anguish they have to endure when an initial spark doesn't turn into the forest fire they had anticipated, these claims are quite frankly rubbish. Because I know for a fact that once my hangover passes - both literally and metaphorically - I'll quite happily go back to square one.
No comments:
Post a Comment