Where I stay, everyone's business always gets played out to an array of spectators. When I refer to spectators I mean the majority of Stirling University. And when I say 'everyone's business' what I really mean is drama, drama, drama.
Now lets be serious...who doesn't love a bit of gossip? It's impossible to avoid, and no matter what sort of person you are, to say you don't enjoy discussing the personal matters of others is nothing short of pure denial. There are differents levels of gossip though; the irrelevant 'who's sleeping with who' chit chat that normally arises after a night out, to the more advanced stages of tittle-tattle such as 'who's being extradited on drug trafficking charges'. I happen to think that the classification given to drugs could probably be applied successfully to gossip aswell - it's an addictive, recreational habit after all. Although I've yet to see Channel 4 do a Dispatches programme on how gossip has ruined someones life and I doubt someone has ever sold their PlayStation in order to be able to afford a copy of OK! I might make some enquiries at Cash Converters - maybe this is an issue that people are ignoring. I could start a charity and...I digress!
As I was saying - nothing stays secret in Stirling. I actually toyed with the slightly pretencious idea of becoming the Gossip Girl of the city and anonymously spilling the beans on my peers - some of the chat that circulates this place is hilarious. However in saying that, I'd probably have to include some of what I get up to in these revelations, and while I can laugh at my 'mishaps' - I wouldn't recommend watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' then trying to emulate some moves whilst blind drunk on a club's deserted dancefloor by the way - writing them down in black and white is probably going to earn me a good few years on the psycologists couch. Where a couple of folk think I should be already - or so I've been told?
Anyway, I'm all too aware I'm yet to make a serious point within these ramblings. What I have actually observed is that while people gossip idly or talk about people's business with or without malicious intent, seemingly meaningless chats about the lives of others can have SUCH a monumental influence on the outcome of a situation that I'd put gossipping up there as one of the most dangerous acts in the world. One little spilled detail can be the difference between a reconciliation or a break up; a full blown fight or make-up sex. It's like that theory that scientists have that when a butterfly beats it's wings, that starts a chain reaction of events off. Everyone's been there; you open your mouth to someone, information comes tumbling from your lips - information that you've been so desperate to tell you swear you can see the words doing a conga line down your tongue - and before you know where you are, you have unwittingly started the next World War and have made a mental note to yourself that a) Perhaps building an Anderson Shelter at the bottom of the garden might be a shout and b) You are a fucking idiot.
However, I happen to think that places like Stirling thrive on gossip. It's what brings folk together in all walks of life; the chat after a night out is like one big bonding session for men and women across the globe. Mother's coffee mornings - a pirhana pool of scandal, deceit and custard creams - are a prime example of uniting in gossip. And companies looking to improve their team building skills should save themselves the money they spend on training, send their employees on a drunken night out and then get them all to talk about it the next day - I'd more than happily take the sessions, especially as I'd probably provide most of the material. This would all be inbetween my charity work for Gossipers Anonymous that is - I think I'm definately on to something there. Tell your friends! (As if I even need to say that eh.)
No comments:
Post a Comment